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  “I’m afraid you may have bought the child one too many Barbies!”

  “First time I’ve ever seen the little guys fight back!”

  “Oh, boy—a whole platterful of cheap, packaged meat extender.”

  “Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?”

  “But first I must inject you with some harmless preservatives and food dyes!”

  “I’ve had just about as much of this as I’m going to take!”

  “It’s a good thing intolerable crowding is an integral part of our system!”

  “Let’s get the hell out of here!”

  “Your usual one too many, sir.”

  “For God’s sake, Parker, show some guts and stand up to them!”

  “Here comes someone new, everybody!”

  “That was very thoughtless of you!”

  “Just love your campy lawn ornaments!”

  “… whereas this machine translates female speech into male speech!”

  “So then Mr. Brewster, who was a cost analyst for an advertising agency, drove his car all the way from Westport, Connecticut, to New York City!”

  “Oh, darn!”

  “You wear too many clothes.”

  “We’re no longer standing in the wind, Roger.”

  “Don’t you dare scratch that couch!”

  “I guess it’s probably a perfectly logical development.”

  “Yes, general, I can see as how they would make you, in particular, feel insignificant.”

  “I guess we better break up the party.”

  “NO.”

  “Not you, too!”

  “Innovative stuff!”

  “But, in the end, you will become bored with that, too.”

  “Congratulations, sir—your child has blossomed!”

  “Believe me—if you could see yourself, you’d drop the whole idea!”

  “I guess it’s clipping time again.”

  “Nobody told me about THIS!”

  “Gordon, I wish you’d stop wearing that creepy camouflage!”

  “They’re Secret Service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be President when he grew up.”

  “When you think back, it was a weird winter, too.”

  “I’ll take it.”

  “Let’s get the hell out of here!”

  “I hate it when he plays through!”

  “Sure makes a change from New York!”

  “They’ve left.”

  GAHAN WILSON

  Gahan Wilson’s cartoons have appeared in Playboy, The New Yorker, Weird Tales, Gourmet, Punch, Paris Match, and The National Lampoon. Fifteen individual collections of his work have been published, including Is Nothing Sacred?, Playboy’s Gahan Wilson, Gahan Wilson’s America, The Man in the Cannibal Pot, and and then we’ll get him! Still Weird, Wilson’s first major collection, included both new material and cartoons selected from earlier collections. Even Weirder, a follow-up to Still Weird, includes never-before-published cartoons seen here for the first time.

  Wilson has also written and illustrated a number of children’s books, including a picture book, The Bang Bang Family, and a series of adventures for Harry the Fat Bear Spy. For adults, Wilson has written two mystery novels, Eddy Deco’s Last Caper and Everybody’s Favorite Duck, and a large number of horror short stories, which have appeared in Playboy, Omni, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, and numerous anthologies.

  Recent projects include graphic novels adapting the works of Ambrose Bierce and Edgar Allan Poe, a set of trading cards featuring Wilson’s demonic baseball players, and his first animated work, a cartoon short, “Gahan Wilson’s Diner,” released by 20th Century–Fox.

  Wilson has also worked on a feature film for Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment, a TV special for Disney, and an animated sitcom for Universal Pictures. He is presently working on a cartoon special for Nickelodeon.

  Forge Books by Gahan Wilson

  Still Weird

  Gahan Wilson’s Even Weirder

  This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book either fictitious or are used fictitiously.

  GAHAN WILSON’S EVEN WEIRDER

  Copyright © 1996 by Gahan Wilson

  All rights reserved.

  Some of the material in this book has appeared previously in Playboy and The New Yorker.

  A Forge Book

  Published by Tom Doherty Associates, Inc.

  175 Fifth Avenue

  New York, NY 10010

  Forge® is a registered trademark of Tom Doherty Associates, Inc.

  First Edition: November 1996

  eISBN 9781466870550

  First eBook edition: March 2014